


Not Fucking Girls

by AnotherGallavichLove



Series: Prompts [35]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Coming Out, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, slightly ooc mickey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4890772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt: Ian and Mickey are friends for years, Ian has a secret crush on Mickey and when Mickey finds a boyfriend Ian gets jealous and decides to tell him everything</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Fucking Girls

When Ian had first met Mickey, they had just been kids.

 

Ian was nine, and Mickey was almost twelve.

 

Despite the slight difference in their ages, they had immediately become friends.

 

However, as they got older, Ian had developed sort of a crush on the older boy.

 

At first, he had just ignored it, thinking it was normal to think your older friend was cool.

 

Which it was - only, maybe it wasn’t as normal to stare at their lips, and think about how good it looked when they started to develop some muscle in their lanky arms.

 

Of course, as Ian got even older, and entered his teenage years, he realized this.

 

He kept it to himself, though. He knew what looking at a guy made him, and even though he knew his family wouldn’t say much about it, he also knew that Mickey may not be as accepting.

 

Mickey had started bragging about banging chicks the second Ian was old enough to understand what he was talking about. His brothers had bought him some cheap hooker when he turned twelve so that he could ”become a man” according to them.

 

Whenever Mickey would talk about that stuff, Ian would listen, all the while trying to hide his jealousy and disappointment.

 

It wasn’t until Ian was fourteen, and Mickey was seventeen, that the truth came out.

 

Mickey’s truth, anyway.

 

They were sitting on the Gallagher couch in an empty house, smoking a joint that Mickey had swiped from his older brother’s room.

 

Ian tried hard - no pun intended - to not look at the way Mickey’s mouth closed around the stick to suck in the drug.

 

He also tried really hard to pull his shirt down over his crotch so that what was inevitably happening down there, wouldn’t be too noticeable.

 

Mickey breathed the smoke out through his nose, and then handed the joint off to his best friend with a small smile.

 

Ian’s breath hitched at the way Mickey’s skin was stretching around his perfectly shaped muscles on his arm, he quickly shook himself out of it, hoping that Mickey wouldn't notice - he didn’t.

 

”Yo, if I ask you something, Gallagher. You won’t tell anyone?”

 

”Of course” Ian spoke out some of the smoke in his throat.

 

”You ever think about… not fucking girls?” Mickey asked, looking Ian in the eye, probably so that he wouldn’t seem nervous, but Ian knew him too well by now.

 

He was nervous.

 

”What, like not getting laid?” Ian asked lamely.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he took a second puff of the weed.

 

”Nah, man. Like… like fucking a dude”

 

Ian had just taken a gulp of his beer, and nearly spit it back out. He forced himself to swallow, and then he put the half empty can back down onto the living room table.

 

”I… I have, yeah” Ian said quietly, not sure how to respond to something like this.

 

It was a subject that was sensitive as fuck.

 

”Really?”

 

Ian nodded, looking down at the couch. He didn’t know why Mickey was asking this, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

 

He wasn’t about to tell him that he was not only one hundred and ten procent sure he was gay, but that he had actually fucked someone in the ass. Literally.

 

He didn’t know how Mickey wouldn’t react to that. Much less that he liked Mickey, nope.

 

He would act cool and everything would be fine. Hopefully.

 

”Why are you asking?” Ian dared to ask, looking up at Mickey again.

 

Mickey shrugged, cleared his throat and then took another puff of the joint, seemingly thinking over his answer.

 

”I guess…” He cleared his throat again. ”Some asshole came up to me at school… made some… comments, I don’t fucking know. But I thought… I don’t know… I guess we flirted or some shit. And it didn’t feel that… wrong”

 

Ian swallowed the inevitable jealousy welling up.

 

”So you’re…?” ”Think so. Figures I couldn’t just have an easy life” Mickey shook his head and leaned back against the couch.

 

”You still can” Ian pointed out. ”Just ’cause you’re… you know. I know it’s not easy here, but it’s okay most places. It’s not wrong. It’s actually pretty - ” 

 

”Gallagher”

 

”Yeah?”

 

”You’re rambling”

 

”Right, sorry” Ian coughed awkwardly.

 

They dropped the subject, and didn’t talk about it at all for the next couple of weeks.

 

But that didn’t mean that Ian had forgotten about it. In fact, he thought about it way more than what was healthy.

 

Mickey was gay. Into guys. Like him.

 

Ian knew it was probably unlikely that Mickey would ever go for his fourteen year old friend, but that didn’t stop Ian from hoping.

 

He thought about getting down on his knees for Mickey, and take his cock out of his pants.

 

He thought about Mickey wrestling him down on the bed and sucking on his neck.

 

He thought about just being able to walk over to Mickey and put a hand on the back of his neck, pressing their lips together in a perfect kiss.

 

Alas, these were things that would never happen, so Ian tried to forget about it.

 

Of course, that didn’t mean he succeeded.

 

They were both working a shift at the kash and grab together, laughing at something or other when Ian’s world shattered.

 

A guy walked in around Mickey’s age. His hair was black, covering his forehead.

 

His body wasn’t lanky, but not quite as muscular as Mickey either. He was hot as fuck.

 

”Hey” Mickey said with a smile, and the guy walked up to him, taking a quick peek out the window before pressing a kiss to Mickey’s cheek. Ian had to look away.

 

”I’m Eric” The guy said, looking at Ian.

 

”Ian” Ian responded, not in the mood to be polite.

 

He was so fucking stupid.

 

Of course he wasn’t good enough for Mickey Milkovich.

 

He was a fourteen year old meaningless twink.

 

Eric left about fifteen minutes later, and Mickey frowned.

 

”Yo, man. Is something up?” Ian shook his head.

 

”No. He’s nice” Mickey nodded, the confused frown still very much plastered onto his face.

 

”We got a problem, Gallagher? Thought you were cool with this whole me dating a dude thing”

 

”I am” Ian confirmed. _As long as that dude is me._

 

Ian knew it wasn’t fair, but he didn’t know how to get out of this funk.

 

He was so fucking upset, and he just forced himself to hold it in.

 

There was nothing else that he could do.

 

”Alright, good. Then cheer the fuck up, jesus”

 

Ian rolled his eyes, and tried to act a little bit happier the rest of the day.

 

Of course, later that night, laying in bed, the tears started flowing.

 

Since his brothers were sleeping in the same room, he made sure to cry quietly, but he was sobbing.

 

How the fuck could this happen? It felt as if Mickey had been given to him, and then just ripped away.

 

Mickey was gay, but it didn’t matter. He had a boyfriend, and even if they were to break up, Mickey would never want Ian.

 

He didn’t think of him in that way, obviously. And so it was time for Ian to try to stop thinking of Mickey in that way as well, it hadn’t gotten him anywhere so far, and it probably never would.

 

Just when Ian’s tears had started calming down, his phone buzzed under his pillow.

 

He thought about now checking it, but in the end, he did anyway.

 

**Mickey:** _I’m outside_

 

 **Ian:** _What the fuck_

 

 **Ian:** _I’m sleeping_

 

 **Mickey:** _No you’re not_

 

**Mickey:** _Just get down here_

 

**Ian:** _No_

 

 **Mickey:** _Gallagher I swear to god_

 

 **Ian:** _Fine I’ll be right there_

 

Ian sighed and got out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

 

He stopped by the bathroom to make sure Mickey wouldn’t see the evidence of tears on his face. He was good, his eyes were a little bit puffy, but it could easily be mistaken for him just being tired.

 

As soon as he exited the house, he spotted Mickey.

 

He was standing on the porch, hands in his pockets.

 

”Hey” Ian said, closing the door carefully behind him as to not wake any of his siblings. ”What’s up?”

 

”I can’t sleep” Mickey sighed, and Ian nodded, hating how tense he felt.

 

”Why not?”

 

”You’re pissed, and I don’t fucking know why. It bugs me”

 

 

”Is this because I had the last slice of pizza the other day?”

 

”Seriously?” Ian chuckled bitterly, walking down the steps to stand on the grass. Mickey followed. ”That fucking guy. Do you have any idea how many times I wished you were gay? And then you are, and a part of me… just a tiny fucking part thought that… that it could happen, you know? But no. You go find someone else to be your boyfriend. I’m right fucking here. Five fucking years, I’ve been right here! But… you don’t see it that way. And I can’t blame you for that. That’s not fair. I can’t force you to feel something you don’t feel, but that doesn’t matter that I can’t be bummed. So, no. I’m not sad about the pizza” Ian sighed, looking into Mickey’s eyes, waiting for a reaction.

 

”You’re into me?” Ian let out something between a sigh and a chuckle.

 

”Really?” Mickey took a step closer to Ian. ”Jesus christ, Ian. Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?” Ian lifted his shoulders, feeling small.

 

”I don’t know” He said lamely, and Mickey nodded. ”I’m really sorry if this will make things weird. I don’t want tha - ”

 

"No, no. Of course not" Mickey said, taking another step forwards, landing oh so close to Ian. "I'm into you, too, man"

 

"What?" Ian asked, not sure he was hearing correctly. "Eric?"

 

"Fuck him" Mickey said, pressing their lips together.

 

Despite him being surprised as fuck, Ian immediately returned the older boy’s kiss, placing his hands on the sides of Mickey’s neck, sliding his tongue into his mouth.

 

Mickey put his hands on Ian’s waist, enjoying the obvious fire lighting up his entire body.

 

He knew this wasn’t technically right.

 

He shouldn’t be kissing a guy, much less someone so much younger.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to give a fuck, though.

 

He couldn’t bring himself to think about anything other than Ian’s lips working against his, and how everything in his life suddenly made sense.


End file.
